Blob vs. Snorlax Prelude

Ray: They are true goliaths, immovable objects with a hot temper...

Steel: And they both have a shadow that weighs at least sixty-five pounds!

Ray: The Blob, the Brotherhood's resident powerhouse...

Steel: And Snorlax, the titanic sleepyhead. He's Ray and I'm Steel-

Ray: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a DEATH BATTLE.

--


THE BLOB
First Appearance: The X-Men #3 (1964)
Real Name: Frederick Dukes
Height: 6'7"
Weight: 510lbs

FEATS...
Shrugged off the entire X-Men team when they were trying to stop him
-Included Cyclops, Iceman, Beast, Jean Grey, and Angel
Joined The Brotherhood of Mutants
Repeatedly required multiple mutants to take him down

Steel: PFFFT! What is WITH this guy? Is his superpower just "being fat"?

Ray: In a manner, but we'll get into that later.

Steel: Also, official sources saying he's five-ten and weighs almost three-hundred pounds? GARBAGE! Guy's got more blubber on him than the combined fat-levels of Rufus from Street Fighter and Bob from Tekken! Bet his doctors lied to him just to be nice!

Ray: Spending many years as a circus sideshow, Fred Dukes was approached by the X-Men and brought to the Xavier Institute. Professor Xavier believed him to be a Mutant...and he was right.

Steel: That revelation, however, went straight to Freddie's head, giving him one heck of a superiority complex. After butting heads with the X-Men a lot, he decided he was too good for them and left the academy. Under threat of their identities being exposed, Professor Xavier ordered them to stop him...ANYTHING but an easy task.

Ray: After losing his memories...and getting them back, thus making it pointless, Blob joined the forces of Magneto and Mystique, who had a much darker plan for humanity than Xavier's. He would become their go-to guy when they needed a good bit of muscle.

Steel: Don'tcha mean "fat"?

Ray: (groan) If I can get onto his Mutant ability...it's a combination of his fat and his skin. They are extremely elastic, making them highly absorbent to impacts and blunt force. These can range from punches to bullets and even Wolverine's adamantium claws. He's also resistant to intense heat and frostbite.

Steel: Wouldn't that hurt, though?

Ray: Not really. He won't feel pain unless his skin is punctured...fat chance of that happening, no pun intended.


FAT AND SKIN...
Blob's primary mutant ability
Highly absorbent to impacts and blunt trauma
-Completely bulletproof, even from sniper fire and cannonballs
-Resistant to extreme heat and frostbite
-Survived point-blank explosions from RPGs and torpedoes

-Not even Wolverine's claws could pierce him at some angles
Doesn't really feel pain
-Most of the time, attacks tickle him

Ray: His fat isn't his only power, though. Blob is incredibly strong, easily capable of holding up two Monster Trucks with nothing but his bare hands. He's even said to be able to lift seventy tons, strong enough to lift two army tanks.

Steel: He's also quite the accomplished grappler and wrestler, making good use of his huge bulk and practical immovability.

Ray: Speaking of immovability, Blob has another Mutant Power called "Gravitational Mass Allocation". At will, Blob can become virtually immovable so long as he was in contact with the ground.

Steel: Cars have crashed into him, as have speeding locomotives and he never budged an inch. He's even had two monster trucks pulling on each arm and he didn't even struggle.

Ray: In fact, the only ones who have managed to move the self-proclaimed "Immovable Object" were the Incredible Hulk and the Juggernaut, whose strength levels are INSANE.

Steel: Or you could use this clever workaround--move the ground underneath him to trip him up. Telekinetics have done it, Earthbenders do it, Colossus did it...and they worked pretty well in my book.


GRAVITATIONAL MASS ALLOCATION...
Is virtually immovable when in contact with the ground
Activates when Blob wills it
Only Hulk and Juggernaut were strong enough to move him
CAN be moved if the ground beneath him is uprooted or altered
-Commonly-used workaround

OTHER ABILITIES...
Superhuman Strength
-Can lift upward of 70 tons
-Can effortlessly trash cars and trucks
-Uses weight to act as a counterbalance
Surprising Agility and Fighting Skill

Steel: Still, for his titanic powers and virtual indestructibility, there are a few weaknesses on this fatso that can be taken advantage of. For starters, he's a total dumbass, easily pissed off and not very good at the planning game.

Ray: And while his skin and fat can tank most damage, there is an upper limit as to how much it can absorb. High-intensity blasts with enough force can pierce it, but he's far more vulnerable in areas that don't have a lot of fat, like his head. His eyes, ears, mouth, and nose are all vulnerable, and he has been knocked out with a heavy enough blow to the head.

WEAKNESSES...
Short-Tempered
Not very smart
Not very good at long-term planning
Easily manipulated
Senses can still be attacked
Areas with less fat are vulnerable
-The head, for example
-Nightcrawler teleported a shark into his stomach to damage him
-Includes eyes and interior of the ears, nose, and mouth

Steel: There's still a solid reason why the Brotherhood brought him onboard. Sure, he's in definite need of diet pills, but if you see him, you KNOW the Brotherhood means serious business.

(Blob: *shoulder-tackles Juggernaut* Unstoppable? Meet the un-MOVEABLE!)

--

Ray: Various towns in the Pokemon world suffer a problem. Something is blocking the road, cutting off vital pathways for life-sustaining resources. Many attempts at moving the obstacle have failed, leaving the town nearly-abandoned and slowly starving to death. Entire islands are stripped of their green leaves and ripe fruits, and even waterways are blocked, preventing life-sustaining water from reaching the town below.

Steel: And what is the cause of all this? A giant, tubby Pokemon who's too lazy to get off its ass and too heavy for most to budge. Introducing...SNORLAX, the Sleeping Pokemon!




SNORLAX...
First Appearance: Pokemon Red and Blue (1997)
Pokedex #: 143
Height: 6'11"
Weight: 1,014lbs
Evolution: Munchlax reaches 220 in Happiness or higher
Type: Normal

Ray: Standing almost seven feet tall and weighing well over half a ton, Snorlax is a giant and long-time holder of the Heaviest Pokemon title.

Steel: Until Groudon came around and promptly usurped him.

Ray: Despite its size, Snorlax can be surprisingly docile, even letting children bounce on its belly. In fact, Snorlax's everyday life consists of nothing but eating and sleeping, eating almost nine-hundred pounds of food a day and sleeping once it has eaten that amount.

Steel: Ah, that's the life for me...also helped by the fact that his stomach acids are so powerful that it can eat just about anything, even food that's moldy or poisonous.

Ray: Should its nap be interrupted, though, Snorlax will get VERY grumpy. Despite its appearance, Snorlax boasts some of the highest HP of any Pokemon, allowing him to tank through heavy damage.

Steel: Snorlax also packs quite a punch with high physical strength, and while it's been frequently shown to not really mind most physical attacks, its defense is...lackluster. Same can't be said for its resistance to projectiles and elemental attacks, though. It'll shrug those off pretty well.

Ray: Snorlax also has a few abilities to boost itself in battle. It's completely immune to being poisoned, can halve the damage done by Fire- or Ice-Type Pokemon, and restore bits of its health by eating something.

STATS...
HP: 160 (High)
ATK: 110 (High)
DEF: 65 (Low)
SPATK: 65 (Low)
SPDEF: 110 (High)
SPD: 30 (Low)

ABILITIES...
Immunity: Cannot be poisoned
Thick Fat: Halves damage done by Fire or Ice moves
Gluttony: Will use a Berry if its HP drops below 50%
-Wild Snorlaxes typically hold a Sitrus Berry
-Sitrus Berry restores 25% of user's health

Steel: While Snorlax is quite the heavy sleeper, often OWNING competition without even waking up...



Steel: Hehehe, like a champ! He's got quite the moveset, mostly focused on boosting his stats, throwing his weight around, and restoring his HP by-you guessed it-catchin' a quick snooze.

Ray: Snorlax's primary method of regaining health aside from eating berries is the move Rest, which fully restores his HP at the cost of falling asleep for two turns. This comes in handy with some moves like Belly Drum, which maximizes his attack strength at a significant HP cost.

Steel: Most would be at heavy risk when they're sleeping in mid-battle, but not this Pokemon. He can assault his opponent's ears with Snore and use one of its moves via Sleep Talk. Some of these moves include Rollout, which turns him into a giant rolling ball of death, Lick, which can paralyze foes, and Body Slam.

Ray: And right out of the moveset of Golurk, Snorlax can use Heavy Slam, which grows stronger the more he outweighs his opponent.

Steel: Considering he weighs half a ton, there isn't much competition. His strongest move, though, is Giga Impact, where he hits a target with his fullest force. Only downside? He's gotta rest up after using it.

Ray: Oh, and I'm also reading that it's quite a strong swimmer.

Steel: Why, you ask? Easy. Fat floats. Once this guy goes to sleep, few things can wake it aside from the Poke-Flute, Pffft-which causes some Snorlax SNRK-hehehe-to do THIS.



Steel: (sniggers) It can dance! PFFT-ahahahaha!

MOVES...
Tackle
-Normal-Type
-Slams target with whole body
Defense Curl
-Normal-Type
-Curls up and raises DEF
Amnesia
-Psychic-Type
-Clears mind of worries
-Sharply raises SPDEF...somehow
Lick
-Ghost-Type
-Licks opponent with long tongue
-May cause paralysis
Chip Away
-Normal-Type
-Strikes repeatedly, looking for an opening
Yawn
-Normal-Type
-Causes target to fall asleep after a time
Body Slam
-Normal-Type
-Slams into target with all their weight
Rest
-Psychic-Type
-Fully restores HP
-User must sleep for two turns
Snore
-Normal-Type
-Used when asleep
-Emits loud noise to attack foe
-May cause foe to flinch
Sleep Talk
-Normal-Type
-Used when user is asleep
-Uses one random move that user knows
Rollout
-Rock-Type
-Continually rolls into target for five turns
-Gets stronger with each hit
Block
-Normal-Type
-Cuts off escape routes
Belly Drum
-Normal-Type
-Maximizes ATK power
-Requires 1/2 of its base HP to use
Crunch
-Dark-Type
-Clamps sharp fangs onto target
-May lower target's DEF
Heavy Slam
-Steel-Type
-Slams target with heavy body
-Does more damage if the user is heavier than the target
Giga Impact
-Normal-Type
-Charges target with every bit of user's power
-Requires a quick rest after its use

NOTABLE ABILITIES...

Strong swimmer

Large appetite
-Must eat 880lbs of food a day
-Will go to sleep soon after
Strong stomach acids
-Can eat even moldy or otherwise-poisonous food
Heavy Sleeper
-Typically requires a Poke-Flute to wake up.

Ray: Snorlax is a tank in every sense of the word and a skilled one can typically take two or three opponents down with it.

Steel: But this Pokemon moves like a tank, too. It's SOOOOOO SLOW! Despite showing surprising flexibility and some agility, Snorlax has some especially-low speed on Pokemon standards.

Ray: While it's not really weak against most other types (which is a mixed blessing), it can't hurt Ghost-Type opponents and is especially vulnerable to Fighting-Type moves.

Steel: And as stated previously, Snorlax is lazy by nature, often falling asleep on the job.

WEAKNESSES...
Very slow
So-so DEF and SPATK
Lazy and docile by nature
No real Type Advantages
-Sometimes a good thing
Vulnerable to Fighting-Type attacks
Cannot hurt Ghost-Type Pokemon

Ray: If that Snorlax is rudely awoken, it goes to say that whoever woke it up will be in for a long, difficult fight.

Steel: I think this chart says it all...